A Divorced Mans Insight to Marriage
I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.
I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months. I don't like to
interrupt her.
Marriage is a 3-ring circus: Engagement ring, wedding ring,
and suffering.
The last fight was my fault. My wife asked, "What's on
the TV?" I said, "Dust!"
Why do men die before their wives? They want to.
What is the difference between a dog and a fox? About 5
drinks.
Do you know the punishment for bigamy? Two mothers-in-law.
Young Son: Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of
Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?
Dad: That happens in every country, son.
A man inserted an 'ad' in the classified: "Wife
Wanted".
Next day he received a hundred letters.
They all said the same
thing: "You can have mine."
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is
to forget it once.
First guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second guy: "You're real lucky, mine's still alive."
How do most men define marriage?
An expensive way to get
laundry done free.
If you want your wife to listen and pay undivided attention
to every word you say
talk in your sleep.
And, there's the man who said, "I never knew what real
happiness was until I got married; and then it was too late."